10/17/10 - 9:45 am

I am having a hard time letting go of my anger.  Right now, just about everything makes me angry.  I get angry every time I get out of the car in the parking garage and walk up to the hospital.  I get angry every time there is a car in the pick up area with all the dad's making sure their new car seats are securely fastened for their new babies to come home.  I get angry every time I think we have a tentative idea as to when we'll be able to bring Riley home, only to have some monkey wrench thrown in the gears and that date just gets pushed back further & further.  I get angry that there are some babies near Riley that have no visitors and I get angry that we are so lucky to live close by & have no restrictions to visiting our little girl when these parents probably aren't so fortunate.  I get angry that I am not producing enough milk, and I know there is really not much I can do about it.  I get angry at how nice all the people we run into in the elevators are and how they assume that we have a preemie.  I get angry at myself for wishing that was our only worry.  I'm just plain angry.