Well, it's surgery day. Josh & I left our house at 5:30 am to head over to Egleston to visit with Riley before her surgery this morning. Under normal circumstances, the CICU is closed to visitors from 6:30 am to 10:00 am every monrning for shift change and doctor's rounds. As today was a "special" day, we were allowed to stay at Riley's bedside in case any doctor's wandered by. In fact, Dr. Wulkan specifically stopped by to say hello and to see if we had any additional questions about Riley's surgery.
Our sweet girl was sleeping so soundly on her tummy, and her night nurse, Rachel, even requisitioned her a CD player so that she had some nice calm classical music to sleep to. We only got a few moments of eyes barely opened, but our girl needs her sleep, so we weren't going to be the ones to wake her up. She did left her head several times and even changed the side her head was facing in order to get more comfortable.
Around 8:00 am, one of the surgical nurses came down to fetch Riley. We were allowed to accompany Riley to the 3rd floor where the operating rooms are located. I think we were doing okay, until the anesthesiologist came out and that just made it all that more real. It will take about 1/2 an hour for them to get Riley situated and sedated for the surgery, then the actual surgery will take approximately 1 1/2 hours. The surgical nurses who came out to greet us seemed to know how we were feeling, as I am sure that they encounter frightened parents every day. They promised to take care of our girl for us.
Riley will be getting a breathing tube for the operation and they plan on keeping that in for the day, and maybe the night. I think it was that bit of information that pushed me over the edge, as I had no clue a machine would be breathing for my tiny baby during this process. It absolutely breaks my heart that at 3 weeks old, Riley needs to have surgery. Not that her being any older would make any difference ... it just sucks that she had to go through all of this. The doctor's have assured me that Riley will be sedated and not aware of the tube and that she will be given pain medications to help her into recovery.
As for me, physically I am not doing so great. I am in some pain and the Percocet makes me feels sick, so I have been avoiding taking that unless absolutely necessary. I am still bleeding, with out any end in sight. This morning was especially rough and the bleeding seems to be increasing instead of decreasing as one would expect it would at 3 weeks postpartum. Josh is on me about my health like white on rice, so he insisted that I call my OB/GYN and schedule a check up. So, I will be going in tomorrow, and I fully expect them to tell me that everything is normal, just that I am going through a terrible experience and have not had a chance to recover as I would have if circumstances were different.
Michele I am breathing with you right now, do you feel me? Eyes closed, DEEP breath in through your nose.......exhale slowly out through your mouth. Today will be over soon and recovery will begin. I love you.
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